Seminary, Part 1

The personal process of responding to God's call to ordained or lay ministry has been excruciating.

Let me say that I have a lot of respect for those that choose to enter the parish. It is a demanding and noble calling to bear. I'll leave it at that.

And these applications- I have to write two one page essays for Duke and one for every other seminary-are a bear in itself.

It's because I have to share my theology with others for the first time ever, or in some cases, academics who don't know who I am as a man of God.

It's very simple-I refuse, under any circumstances, to question the Bible or the authority of Jesus, as some are prone to do. I do, however, desire to make a more intentional effort to bring people from different backgrounds together to worship, and I want to make a concentrated effort to defend and deliver the Gospel to the poor.

I will confess that a LOT of places in the area do not do the latter two very well. This COUNTRY doesn't do it very well. My vision is extremely lofty and somewhat grandiose.

Plus, I've applied to schools that I'm familiar with location-wise and past life experiences-wise, instead of seeking schools based on ideology. You may think that may or may not be a good idea.

When I felt moved to pursue this direction of life, I originally targeted Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, North Carolina, because of its proximity to Durham. Now it's a fallback, in part because of minor theological differences concerning legalism (which drew me away from the church in the first place).

I wonder if I will fit in socially at my two top choices. Duke is a place that I would love to experience, but I have about a 30 percent chance of getting admitted because of my academic performance and my late beginning in the app process. Wesley may be easier to get into, and it may actually be the best fit for what I THINK I'm called to accomplish at least in terms of academic preparation, but I would have to leave Durham...

What's worse is that my experience at Wal-Mart has clearly stated to my Aspie consciousness that I am NOT rich. This might affect me socially. Plus, I'm actually praying for God to provide financially concerning this seminary thing.

This will be a two, or even three parter.

Valentine's Day, round 28

I think Valentine's Day sucks.

I may sound like a man with sour grapes because I've never been in a romantic relationship. But I think it's the truth.

I believe the day glorifies materialism. I've never believed that you should buy your way to a woman's heart. A true man would give her wife flowers on ANY day he sees fit. A true man wants to consistently nourish his wife.

I know I'd be at a disadvantage tomorrow anyway, because I can barely buy the affection of my dog, let alone a woman. That's one of the reasons why I believe I am still single. People want style over substance. I can only give you substance at this point.

Have fun, Durham.