The personal process of responding to God's call to ordained or lay ministry has been excruciating.
Let me say that I have a lot of respect for those that choose to enter the parish. It is a demanding and noble calling to bear. I'll leave it at that.
And these applications- I have to write two one page essays for Duke and one for every other seminary-are a bear in itself.
It's because I have to share my theology with others for the first time ever, or in some cases, academics who don't know who I am as a man of God.
It's very simple-I refuse, under any circumstances, to question the Bible or the authority of Jesus, as some are prone to do. I do, however, desire to make a more intentional effort to bring people from different backgrounds together to worship, and I want to make a concentrated effort to defend and deliver the Gospel to the poor.
I will confess that a LOT of places in the area do not do the latter two very well. This COUNTRY doesn't do it very well. My vision is extremely lofty and somewhat grandiose.
Plus, I've applied to schools that I'm familiar with location-wise and past life experiences-wise, instead of seeking schools based on ideology. You may think that may or may not be a good idea.
When I felt moved to pursue this direction of life, I originally targeted Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, North Carolina, because of its proximity to Durham. Now it's a fallback, in part because of minor theological differences concerning legalism (which drew me away from the church in the first place).
I wonder if I will fit in socially at my two top choices. Duke is a place that I would love to experience, but I have about a 30 percent chance of getting admitted because of my academic performance and my late beginning in the app process. Wesley may be easier to get into, and it may actually be the best fit for what I THINK I'm called to accomplish at least in terms of academic preparation, but I would have to leave Durham...
What's worse is that my experience at Wal-Mart has clearly stated to my Aspie consciousness that I am NOT rich. This might affect me socially. Plus, I'm actually praying for God to provide financially concerning this seminary thing.
This will be a two, or even three parter.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
Valentine's Day, round 28
I think Valentine's Day sucks.
I may sound like a man with sour grapes because I've never been in a romantic relationship. But I think it's the truth.
I believe the day glorifies materialism. I've never believed that you should buy your way to a woman's heart. A true man would give her wife flowers on ANY day he sees fit. A true man wants to consistently nourish his wife.
I know I'd be at a disadvantage tomorrow anyway, because I can barely buy the affection of my dog, let alone a woman. That's one of the reasons why I believe I am still single. People want style over substance. I can only give you substance at this point.
Have fun, Durham.
I may sound like a man with sour grapes because I've never been in a romantic relationship. But I think it's the truth.
I believe the day glorifies materialism. I've never believed that you should buy your way to a woman's heart. A true man would give her wife flowers on ANY day he sees fit. A true man wants to consistently nourish his wife.
I know I'd be at a disadvantage tomorrow anyway, because I can barely buy the affection of my dog, let alone a woman. That's one of the reasons why I believe I am still single. People want style over substance. I can only give you substance at this point.
Have fun, Durham.
Monday, January 23, 2012
You Are Going To Think I Am Nuts After This...
It's official. I am applying to Duke Divinity School in an effort to earn my Master of Divinity degree. I arranged for an official campus visit yesterday.
And I'm also applying to Wesley Theological Seminary in Washington, D.C. My buddy Dave is set to finish up in May, and I'm at least familiar with the dormitory setup :)
My decision to pursue such a thing was empowered by the Spirit. It would be blasphemous to suggest otherwise. I wasn't even seriously considering seminary at this time last year. I spent 2011 searching for a professional direction. I would bring up a lot of possible directions to my friends and cohorts, but they never got off the ground.
God is awesome. He moves in mysterious ways. He made me to do this ministry thing in some sort or fashion when He created me 28 years ago. I believe He did. Heck, he called me to ministry in a bar, for crying out loud.
I know that there are challenges ahead for me. I refused to consider private schools in my previous graduate school forays for financial reasons, so how am I going to pay? Will I even get into any seminary given my past? Will I even be a credible minister given my unique personality and interests???
I don't care about that right now. I'm just going to go for it.
And I'm also applying to Wesley Theological Seminary in Washington, D.C. My buddy Dave is set to finish up in May, and I'm at least familiar with the dormitory setup :)
My decision to pursue such a thing was empowered by the Spirit. It would be blasphemous to suggest otherwise. I wasn't even seriously considering seminary at this time last year. I spent 2011 searching for a professional direction. I would bring up a lot of possible directions to my friends and cohorts, but they never got off the ground.
God is awesome. He moves in mysterious ways. He made me to do this ministry thing in some sort or fashion when He created me 28 years ago. I believe He did. Heck, he called me to ministry in a bar, for crying out loud.
I know that there are challenges ahead for me. I refused to consider private schools in my previous graduate school forays for financial reasons, so how am I going to pay? Will I even get into any seminary given my past? Will I even be a credible minister given my unique personality and interests???
I don't care about that right now. I'm just going to go for it.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a mandatory tool that one must master as a follower of Jesus Christ.
The ENTIRE message of the Gospel is centered around forgiveness. Jesus forgave your sins, no matter how numerous or vicious those sins were. Once you receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and recieve His gift of everlasting life, you are called to forgive others for whatever wrongs they committed against you. Some people pick up this trait pretty easily. Others have to learn how to forgive.
Unfortunately, I stand in the latter.
I've been accused of being grumpy and/or negative on occasion. These observations have been made by Facebook observers since I've been freed.
You can tag that flaw on my struggles with forgiveness. I admit it....I struggled with forgiving Methodist University for their failure to provide me with any legit connections for employment, devising a poor academic advisement system, or failing to have a respectable guy to girl ratio.
I've had to forgive my parents (mostly my mother) for trying too hard to protect me at crucial times in my life.I had to forgive the socio-environment of Eastern North Carolina for failing to provide me with some of the tools that would be essential to survive in academia and the real world. Most of all, I had to forgive myself for being lazy, choosing the wrong schools, feeling inadequate in my efforts to reach certain subcultures for Jesus Christ, for being ridiculously passive in the face of opportunity, and for my lackluster academic performance in college.
But Jesus forgave me for my many sins, and He's reminding me that I need to forgive myself and others.
Adieu.
The ENTIRE message of the Gospel is centered around forgiveness. Jesus forgave your sins, no matter how numerous or vicious those sins were. Once you receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and recieve His gift of everlasting life, you are called to forgive others for whatever wrongs they committed against you. Some people pick up this trait pretty easily. Others have to learn how to forgive.
Unfortunately, I stand in the latter.
I've been accused of being grumpy and/or negative on occasion. These observations have been made by Facebook observers since I've been freed.
You can tag that flaw on my struggles with forgiveness. I admit it....I struggled with forgiving Methodist University for their failure to provide me with any legit connections for employment, devising a poor academic advisement system, or failing to have a respectable guy to girl ratio.
I've had to forgive my parents (mostly my mother) for trying too hard to protect me at crucial times in my life.I had to forgive the socio-environment of Eastern North Carolina for failing to provide me with some of the tools that would be essential to survive in academia and the real world. Most of all, I had to forgive myself for being lazy, choosing the wrong schools, feeling inadequate in my efforts to reach certain subcultures for Jesus Christ, for being ridiculously passive in the face of opportunity, and for my lackluster academic performance in college.
But Jesus forgave me for my many sins, and He's reminding me that I need to forgive myself and others.
Adieu.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
A Mini Year-In-Review
I haven't been able to blog in a while.
While this inactivity can be attributed to the computer problems that I've had for
the last month, I can actually attribute my inactivity to sloth, which is inexcusable.
But I digress. It's a new year, and I believe that new opportunities are ahead for
me, as long as I keep my eyes toward the heavens.
I don't know if I want to waste energy by putting 2011 in review. I could have done that about three or four years ago. But I just want to enjoy the good moments in life now.
I believe that the most memorable event that occured happened to me in 2011 would be my baptism at Vintage 21 in July. Nothing can top the importance of that, but switching churches, volunteering at the Reality Center and actually growing in my faith in Christ would also count as positive life developments .
I didn't do anything of note professionally. There's a reason for that. I admit I gave up searching for a suitable job for a while. I'm still looking, but now my priority is applying to seminary. I'm applying to Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary close by and maybe Wesley in Washington D.C..
I'm happiest on Sunday mornings, and I think I am finally being called to serve God in some capacity of ministry.
But my biggest personal New Year's Revolution would be to work harder.
While this inactivity can be attributed to the computer problems that I've had for
the last month, I can actually attribute my inactivity to sloth, which is inexcusable.
But I digress. It's a new year, and I believe that new opportunities are ahead for
me, as long as I keep my eyes toward the heavens.
I don't know if I want to waste energy by putting 2011 in review. I could have done that about three or four years ago. But I just want to enjoy the good moments in life now.
I believe that the most memorable event that occured happened to me in 2011 would be my baptism at Vintage 21 in July. Nothing can top the importance of that, but switching churches, volunteering at the Reality Center and actually growing in my faith in Christ would also count as positive life developments .
I didn't do anything of note professionally. There's a reason for that. I admit I gave up searching for a suitable job for a while. I'm still looking, but now my priority is applying to seminary. I'm applying to Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary close by and maybe Wesley in Washington D.C..
I'm happiest on Sunday mornings, and I think I am finally being called to serve God in some capacity of ministry.
But my biggest personal New Year's Revolution would be to work harder.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Making Peace With Methodist
On October 22, I decided to rev up the 1997 Ford Explorer to go to Methodist University's Homecoming football game. I looked forward to this day for weeks beforehand. For some twisted reason I always look forward to returning to the land of the Green and Gold.
I kept taking jabs at MU (and Fayetteville in general) in mediums such as these until I got saved in October 2009. Since then I've made a conscious effort to not even talk about the university or bash it, and Methodist has made some vast improvements to its overall atmosphere.
Dr. Ben Hancock is in his first full year there, and he's already cleaned up the residence halls, developed some great future plans for the school, and put on a public relations blitz towards the alumni. A nursing program was also pushed through, and it's added 160 new students, about 85 percent of that being female. The male-to-female ratio has improved to around 60 to 40. And the school's really beginning to grow in size.
I was able to see these things again, and I was also able to see a number of people that I went to class with, hung around with, and partied with. Most of them have jobs or are in graduate school. It seems like half of them are starting families, as well.
Later on I settled in with a few friends of mine, and we went downtown for dinner and drink. I eventually wound up at DM's Sports Bar (formerly Double Bogey's) which wasn't all that impressive in hindsight. Methodist students have switched college bars several times in the last several years, and apparently they have gone full circle to DM's after souring on Last Call and being banished from Izzy's. It was more of the same stuff that I got used to at Methodist: the male-to-female ratio was 90-to-10, and belligerence was at a high level. The nursing program did not exist at that moment.
Despite this reality, I think Methodist is on the up and up, and I really do feel that the students are happy. There are still some issues, most notably overcrowding and retention numbers.
Seriously, if you if you cut the number of freshman football players from 130 to 40 or 50, you'd lose a little money but eliminate the bulk of your retention issues. But give Dr. Hancock time to tweak some things. He hasn't begun the cleanup process yet.
When I was a student, I believed that the main issues of the university were a lopsided male to female ratio and retention. Do you believe that these are still issues? If so, what are you going to do about it?
We are MU.
I kept taking jabs at MU (and Fayetteville in general) in mediums such as these until I got saved in October 2009. Since then I've made a conscious effort to not even talk about the university or bash it, and Methodist has made some vast improvements to its overall atmosphere.
Dr. Ben Hancock is in his first full year there, and he's already cleaned up the residence halls, developed some great future plans for the school, and put on a public relations blitz towards the alumni. A nursing program was also pushed through, and it's added 160 new students, about 85 percent of that being female. The male-to-female ratio has improved to around 60 to 40. And the school's really beginning to grow in size.
I was able to see these things again, and I was also able to see a number of people that I went to class with, hung around with, and partied with. Most of them have jobs or are in graduate school. It seems like half of them are starting families, as well.
Later on I settled in with a few friends of mine, and we went downtown for dinner and drink. I eventually wound up at DM's Sports Bar (formerly Double Bogey's) which wasn't all that impressive in hindsight. Methodist students have switched college bars several times in the last several years, and apparently they have gone full circle to DM's after souring on Last Call and being banished from Izzy's. It was more of the same stuff that I got used to at Methodist: the male-to-female ratio was 90-to-10, and belligerence was at a high level. The nursing program did not exist at that moment.
Despite this reality, I think Methodist is on the up and up, and I really do feel that the students are happy. There are still some issues, most notably overcrowding and retention numbers.
Seriously, if you if you cut the number of freshman football players from 130 to 40 or 50, you'd lose a little money but eliminate the bulk of your retention issues. But give Dr. Hancock time to tweak some things. He hasn't begun the cleanup process yet.
In fact, if the Dr. is reading this now, I'd like to finish by asking him this...
When I was a student, I believed that the main issues of the university were a lopsided male to female ratio and retention. Do you believe that these are still issues? If so, what are you going to do about it?
We are MU.
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