Monday, August 29, 2011
Confessions, Part 1:The Battle with Ego.
My ego sucks.
I think it peaked during college when I wrote for the school newspaper. That was my identity, and I worshipped that idol to the point where I wouldn't write stories that would hurt my popularity. I used to think that it wasn't a big issue.
I also used to think that my ego didn't even exist. But it quietly controlled my life. I hid my ego for a long time, but I always fed it. I wanted attention and admiration and I would pout inside and curse others if I didn't get it.
I transferred colleges and put myself in a $13,000 student loan debt hole because I wanted to be loved like I was in high school.
I whined and complained post college about Fayetteville because my ego wasn't satisfied and there weren't enough girls on my bandwagon.
I'll even admit that, at one time, I got offended and wanted to leave the Triangle at one point because the city, its culture, and the women here weren't giving me the time of day. That happened earlier this year.
I realize today that I left Grace in part because my ego wasn't being fed. My soul was being spiritually fed, but I felt that everybody should like me because I'm a great person. When the newness of being in the community wore off and I didn't get that feeling of admiration, I grumbled in my heart.
I left Grace with God's blessing, but only now do I see the root of why my time ended there.
The Fransecsa's false alarm opened my eyes and helped me to actually see my vicious pride. Relationships were potentially going to be destroyed if I didn't address it.
I am who I am, redeemed by the blood of Jesus. Even when I got saved, I wanted to be the center of your universe because my ego demanded it. Now I know that I will never be the center.
Now I'm trying to kill my vicious, digusting, lascivious ego. My future depends on it.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Sports Biz Wish List
1. It's a month old, but if you haven't read Bill Simmons' plan on how to fix the National Basketball Association recently, go back to this archive and do it. Here's the link below (if I can upload it....)
The only thing that really teed me off was his insistence that the town of Charlotte, North Carolina couldn't support an NBA franchise. Hogwash! The Charlotte Hornets sold out 358 consecutive games in their heyday!!!! I know Charlotte's banking industry and unemployment rate sucks, but don't trash them just yet!! I wish they would just merge the Hornets and Bobcats and go back to 29 teams (the NBA operated at that number for 8 or 9 years). Charlotte would get the Hornets back then.
I would also move the Grizzlies back to Vancouver, move Milwaukee to Chicago and move Sacramento to Anaheim. That would solve the small-market issue (kinda). Or if you want to keep 30 NBA franchises, move the Bobcats to Seattle and let Charlotte have its Hornets back. Also, I'd split the revenue 50/50 between players and owners. Bet that won't happen.
2.I wish they would make a decision on the NHL's Phoenix Coyotes and move on.
3.As for the failed NHL Sun Belt experiment-I think it is logical to have the Kings, Ducks, and Sharks around, as well as the Stars, due to their presence in large U.S. TV markets. People do not count Florida as a southern state, so I guess you could keep Florida and Tampa Bay. I live in the Triangle, and there are a lot of educated Yankees here. Keep Carolina, on pure bias, because I am a Hurricanes fan. Nashville survived their relocation trial in 2007. Otherwise, ice everybody else, although I'd ship Phoenix to Winnipeg instead of Atlanta due to market size.
4.If an NFL team ever comes to Los Angeles, the only logical candidates that I would like to move would be the Rams, Raiders, and Chargers, due to their past history with the city.
5.I hope Division III colleges quit cattle call recruiting for football and only enlist student-athletes that can survive in the classroom and could legitimately contribute to their football teams. This has teed me off for five-plus years now.
Peace now..
Monday, July 18, 2011
from a washed up night owl....
I am twenty-seven years old.
And I've lived long enough to say that I can fortunately-or unfortunately-say that I've had a lot of experience with dance clubs and the like.
As a Christian, and as a twenty-seven year old male with things to actually lose these days, I'm finally becoming a stubborn bull about what places and clubs I'll go to. What amazes me is the sheer fact that a 21-year old Remille would be shocked with the caution of a twenty-seven-old Remille. To be honest, Remille at 21 would go wherever the girls were.
I think it's safe to say that you won't be seeing me at any hip-hop dance clubs where a lost soul would kill me with a .45 or where I would have to look at seeing frat boys in Polo's, sorority girls who haven't matured on the inside, or G.I.'s who may fall into a trap marriage. I could never compete in an environment where testosterone or hormones were heavily emphasized. I can't start now.
I don't want to be spotted where my friend Kendal Kinlaw (who is pretty cool, by the way) wouldn't be caught dead at. This disqualifies about 65% of Franklin Street, i.e. East End, Players, La Residence, Pantana Bob's, etc. This is why Durham is more ideal for me, because you don't have these joints clogging up the place.
Kildare's, however, actually does have good karaoke nights on Tuesdays, and karaoke is more up my alley. I do like to go to the dance parties that places like the Pinhook, Kings, or the Station throw; they aren't really hormonal and the objective there is to have a good time.
That's my two cents.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
mercy
Kendrick Vinar preached a great sermon a week or two ago on the subject of mercy triumphing over judgement.
What stood out was the comment about the total lack of good guys and bad guys in God's eyes. He loves us all equally. In His universe, the spectacle of Cowboys vs. Redskins, Protestants vs. Catholics, Caucasians vs. African Americans, that kind of thing.
Of course, Kendrick also stated that are three main reasons why people find themselves behind the eight-ball...Social injustice (imho, one of the reasons why several minorities and poor Caucasians struggle today), natural disaster (e.g. the recent tornadoes), and personal sin.
I see all three of these plights, in some fashion, at my job. I won't go into detail about exactly how I notice these things. But I see them and I want them to receive God's mercy.
I do not feel that us human beings (non-believers and even some believers) who live in the Triangle do a good enough job of showing mercy towards those that seem different from them or less affluent than them. It's human nature to stereotype and run away from them.
Think about this: How would Jesus see the poor, the black, the Hispanic, the socially inept? Would He shoo them away???
Let us love each other.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
year in review
My one-year anniversary in the Triangle may or may not be celebrated in a week. It all depends on what my mood is at the time. Stay tuned.
The prognosticators (I believe that me and God are the only ones in this case) would call this move a rip-roaring success. So it's pro and con time.
Pros:
I've made a remarkable amount of progress in my walk with God. I've met some amazing people.
And there's so much to do around here.
I have really grown as a person.
I've found a career direction.
Cons:
I haven't found a legitimate job here yet. This is going to become a legitimate issue. I wonder sometimes if I'm ever going to crack the good old boy wall here.
I can't get a date in this area. ;) People here don't seem to like socially awkward folk like myself.
It matters a bit too much where you went to school and what you do for a living..whoops, I'm being nitpicky...I would say that the pros strongly outweigh the cons.
I just hope I can stay here for a little while longer.
The prognosticators (I believe that me and God are the only ones in this case) would call this move a rip-roaring success. So it's pro and con time.
Pros:
I've made a remarkable amount of progress in my walk with God. I've met some amazing people.
And there's so much to do around here.
I have really grown as a person.
I've found a career direction.
Cons:
I haven't found a legitimate job here yet. This is going to become a legitimate issue. I wonder sometimes if I'm ever going to crack the good old boy wall here.
I can't get a date in this area. ;) People here don't seem to like socially awkward folk like myself.
It matters a bit too much where you went to school and what you do for a living..whoops, I'm being nitpicky...I would say that the pros strongly outweigh the cons.
I just hope I can stay here for a little while longer.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
why I don't listen to mainstream music...
I don't listen to a lot of mainstream music. And I don't listen to a lot of mainstream rap.
Don't get me wrong. I consider rap as a secondary listening pleasure. But I'm not going to listen to songs that degrade African-Americans and contain lyrics that glorify sex, violence, the importance of money above everything else, and Satanism.
Yes, Satanism.
Some of you may have heard of the Illuminati before (fyi, they are a secret society that allegedly controls most, if not all, of the major media and music outlets of the world, among other things). Some would debate their existence, but I'm not going to argue this here.
Instead, I'm going to pass on some YouTube links that argue that most mainstream music are full of Satanic references and hints toward the New World Order/Endtimes theory. It's 13 parts long, so I would get a snack and click on the link when it says "To Be Continued"..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DikoLMfmEge
if that doesn't work, go to YouTube and search for the The Music Industry Exposed....Look it up for yourself
The validity of this can be debated. But if you ever read the book of Revelation, you would find this easier to believe...
Don't get me wrong. I consider rap as a secondary listening pleasure. But I'm not going to listen to songs that degrade African-Americans and contain lyrics that glorify sex, violence, the importance of money above everything else, and Satanism.
Yes, Satanism.
Some of you may have heard of the Illuminati before (fyi, they are a secret society that allegedly controls most, if not all, of the major media and music outlets of the world, among other things). Some would debate their existence, but I'm not going to argue this here.
Instead, I'm going to pass on some YouTube links that argue that most mainstream music are full of Satanic references and hints toward the New World Order/Endtimes theory. It's 13 parts long, so I would get a snack and click on the link when it says "To Be Continued"..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DikoLMfmEge
if that doesn't work, go to YouTube and search for the The Music Industry Exposed....Look it up for yourself
The validity of this can be debated. But if you ever read the book of Revelation, you would find this easier to believe...
Saturday, March 5, 2011
twice-a-week edict
From here on in, I intend to keep myself sharp by posting on here at LEAST twice a month, if not more...I'm being pushed to the brink recently.