I will admit that logic sometimes escapes me.
I have a difference called Asperger's Syndrome, and I admit that I've made illogical decisions in my past. We all live and learn, however, and I can say that my walk with God and and with life has spurred me to understand everything. It has inspired me to write a "sermon series", if you will, on several key things in our society. I'll be explaining how I view these issues, and I will comment/wonder aloud on whether or not that vibes with American society. I will begin with religion. Oh boy.
I will say that I have been the beneficiary of a relationship with Jesus Christ since late 2009, and I will say that it was the best decision of my life. I personally feel no need to question the Bible, and I believe that all of the theological questions/controversies that I have encountered over the years have honestly made my head swim. Why can't Christians agree that Jesus is Lord without getting into a argument about who is right.
Unlike a lot of Christians that I have personally encountered, I don't really come from a liturgical tradition. I spent time in the African-American Baptist Church and the congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses when I was younger, but I bucked that tradition for good at around 19 years of age. For some reason, I didn't really want to be a part of a segregated tradition (that's how I saw it) and I wanted to live the sex, rock and roll, and booze lifestyle (in that order) for a while.
I haven't been saved since I was 4. I never went to a high school youth group. I'm behind on a few things here.
It really hurts my heart to find that the politics of religion, the sales pitches, the divisiveness, and theological posturing has seeped into the Triangle. It turned me off on seminary, and it's caused me to reconsider a lot of alliances and institutions in my mist. I am unsure of whether or not I'll maintain the same alliances six months from now. It's God's call. I don't know. I don't think that I really fit in totally with any church in the Triangle. I know im going to have to make do with what is before me.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
7 random thoughts..aka remille at his most dangerous
1.I just heard that my alma mater added men's lacrosse to their athletic department. Good news, I guess...but weren't they trying to improve the male-female ratio???? The hits keep on coming!
2. I'm a hockey fan, and it's weird that the Phoenix Coyotes are making the run that they are despite the fact that they may relocate to Quebec City after it's all over???!!!?
3. Call it divine intervention, karma, or whatever you will, but it's probably fair to see Winnipeg and Quebec (possibly) back in the NHL.
4. Obama was in town today to rally support for the status quo on student loan interest rates. I wish I was there to see him. I also wish he would find a way to eliminate my student debt.
5. Durham can be really, really transient and really, really small sometimes. Which is why it is such an awesome place.
6. I am convinced that religion is man-made. Only a relationship with Jesus matters.
7. I am also convinced that religion is divisive (even among the communities that get the concept of the Gospel right). This conclusion aided my decision in postponing or ending my seminary dream.
2. I'm a hockey fan, and it's weird that the Phoenix Coyotes are making the run that they are despite the fact that they may relocate to Quebec City after it's all over???!!!?
3. Call it divine intervention, karma, or whatever you will, but it's probably fair to see Winnipeg and Quebec (possibly) back in the NHL.
4. Obama was in town today to rally support for the status quo on student loan interest rates. I wish I was there to see him. I also wish he would find a way to eliminate my student debt.
5. Durham can be really, really transient and really, really small sometimes. Which is why it is such an awesome place.
6. I am convinced that religion is man-made. Only a relationship with Jesus matters.
7. I am also convinced that religion is divisive (even among the communities that get the concept of the Gospel right). This conclusion aided my decision in postponing or ending my seminary dream.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
sunrise 6-13-2008-sunset 4-6-2012
I accepted a job at Whole Foods Market's Durham store last week.
I actually see this as a personal opportunity. It is weird for me to say this because I have an English degree from Methodist University (I repent of the urge to take a jab at the school), but we unfortunately live in a different America. It would be fun if I moved up at Whole Foods and challenged myself.
I surprise myself when I say that it was difficult to leave the job I had. I've wanted to acheive a better-paying job ever since I arrived at Wal-Mart, and I failed in that endeavor so consistently that I thought the chance would never arrive. The Lord works miracles.
And the Lord is also a great teacher. He used the store to teach me a love for the unloveable and the forsaken. I came to Wal-Mart as a spoiled, selfish knucklehead who believed that he wasn't going to be there a month. I left there with a stronger heart for God and for people.
I am looking forward to my future endeavors.
I actually see this as a personal opportunity. It is weird for me to say this because I have an English degree from Methodist University (I repent of the urge to take a jab at the school), but we unfortunately live in a different America. It would be fun if I moved up at Whole Foods and challenged myself.
I surprise myself when I say that it was difficult to leave the job I had. I've wanted to acheive a better-paying job ever since I arrived at Wal-Mart, and I failed in that endeavor so consistently that I thought the chance would never arrive. The Lord works miracles.
And the Lord is also a great teacher. He used the store to teach me a love for the unloveable and the forsaken. I came to Wal-Mart as a spoiled, selfish knucklehead who believed that he wasn't going to be there a month. I left there with a stronger heart for God and for people.
I am looking forward to my future endeavors.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
RE: Methodist University Inauguration
I have been an alumnus of Methodist University for about four and a half years. I still wrestle with whether or not I am a proud alumni of said school. But I want to be a proud alumni. I chose to air this out now while the Inauguration was still fresh.
I have had this on my heart for a while, and I can't stay silent. This is therapy for me.
The following is a open letter to President Hancock, the MU Powers-That-Be, alumni, and even current students......
To The Methodist University Community At Large (And there's something for alumni, too),
I was unable to attend the inauguration of President Hancock, but I wish I was there. I am happy and doing well in Durham, and I am involved in the faith based non-profit sector and the church community.
Methodist has been good to me in a lot of ways. You gave a college degree and allowed me to develop some sort of independence away from home. The friends I made during my era and the experiences that I had at MU were thrilling.
But not everything was perfect during my time. The academic advisement that I received was sub par. MU's system of things at the time forced you to become your old advisor. That didn't work for some of us. (especially yours truly). I will own up to ALL of my academic failures and shortcomings, but I believe the advisement system was rigged to keep the individuals that were striving to graduate enrolled as long as possible. Granted, some of us weren't as academically sharp as others, but it still occurred. I believe this malady has been addressed already, but the fact that it was this way has jaded several alumni.
The only other real concern that bothers me is the issue of retention. I believe that I've pinpointed the cause. I want to make it known that the football program has a habit-no, a mandate-to recruit over 120 FRESHMAN football players per year, no matter who returned previously. And if you can do a little bit of research, you can see that only 25 to 30 of these freshmen return for their sophomore year. It isn't just limited to football; men's basketball brings in about 15 a year, baseball 20, men's soccer around 18, and so on. The women do it, too.
We can't expect those that could not find any playing time on their particular team to stay if they've been jaded by an athletic failure. It is 2012. We cannot expect to convince a lot of these kids to just be students here if their primary mission for coming was just to play a little ball. It is a different generation.
I feel that taking it on the front end to make a profit while accepting that you will take it on the back end is a bit unethical. When you recruit more, it is harder to retain and develop a sense of community. We are deceiving these kids. I've heard stories of deception and false promises spoken by MU recruiters in order to get the athlete enrolled. The truth of these stories are debatable, but deception is a sin. And we are affiliated with the Methodist church. I don't know about you, but sin is unacceptable to me.
Let's reduce the sizes of athletic teams at Methodist, and make up for the lost revenue by recruiting more non-athletes, raising academic standards, and retaining more of the ones we have.
A lot of male students, past and present (me included) also HATED the male-female ratio. I understand that it is a challenge to recruit female students due to the private school cost and the poor reputation of the surrounding city and military community. The previous regime botched the ratio severely by implementing too many programs for the men and not enough programs for the women. And I don't think that the previous president really cared about this idiosyncrasy. I know the ratio has improved, but I feel we should shoot for an 50/50 ratio, and I believe that can be done via wider recruitment of non-athletes and an increase in international students. I hope this is being worked on. And could someone email me some actual numbers on the ratio??? :) My email address is eshipman@hotmail.com.
Otherwise, I believe that Methodist is awesome, and I believe that Dr. Hancock will walk the walk and take us to the next level. I believe that he is trying to correct these issues as we speak. This may sound like a tongue lashing, but I appreciate everything and I am for you.
For those that are still bitter about their MU experience, don't be. I'm praying for you. Make the BEST of your situation! I still struggle with bitterness about my experience, but the cross of Christ has helped me forgive those that scorned me.
In Him,
E. Remille Shipman
I have had this on my heart for a while, and I can't stay silent. This is therapy for me.
The following is a open letter to President Hancock, the MU Powers-That-Be, alumni, and even current students......
To The Methodist University Community At Large (And there's something for alumni, too),
I was unable to attend the inauguration of President Hancock, but I wish I was there. I am happy and doing well in Durham, and I am involved in the faith based non-profit sector and the church community.
Methodist has been good to me in a lot of ways. You gave a college degree and allowed me to develop some sort of independence away from home. The friends I made during my era and the experiences that I had at MU were thrilling.
But not everything was perfect during my time. The academic advisement that I received was sub par. MU's system of things at the time forced you to become your old advisor. That didn't work for some of us. (especially yours truly). I will own up to ALL of my academic failures and shortcomings, but I believe the advisement system was rigged to keep the individuals that were striving to graduate enrolled as long as possible. Granted, some of us weren't as academically sharp as others, but it still occurred. I believe this malady has been addressed already, but the fact that it was this way has jaded several alumni.
The only other real concern that bothers me is the issue of retention. I believe that I've pinpointed the cause. I want to make it known that the football program has a habit-no, a mandate-to recruit over 120 FRESHMAN football players per year, no matter who returned previously. And if you can do a little bit of research, you can see that only 25 to 30 of these freshmen return for their sophomore year. It isn't just limited to football; men's basketball brings in about 15 a year, baseball 20, men's soccer around 18, and so on. The women do it, too.
We can't expect those that could not find any playing time on their particular team to stay if they've been jaded by an athletic failure. It is 2012. We cannot expect to convince a lot of these kids to just be students here if their primary mission for coming was just to play a little ball. It is a different generation.
I feel that taking it on the front end to make a profit while accepting that you will take it on the back end is a bit unethical. When you recruit more, it is harder to retain and develop a sense of community. We are deceiving these kids. I've heard stories of deception and false promises spoken by MU recruiters in order to get the athlete enrolled. The truth of these stories are debatable, but deception is a sin. And we are affiliated with the Methodist church. I don't know about you, but sin is unacceptable to me.
Let's reduce the sizes of athletic teams at Methodist, and make up for the lost revenue by recruiting more non-athletes, raising academic standards, and retaining more of the ones we have.
A lot of male students, past and present (me included) also HATED the male-female ratio. I understand that it is a challenge to recruit female students due to the private school cost and the poor reputation of the surrounding city and military community. The previous regime botched the ratio severely by implementing too many programs for the men and not enough programs for the women. And I don't think that the previous president really cared about this idiosyncrasy. I know the ratio has improved, but I feel we should shoot for an 50/50 ratio, and I believe that can be done via wider recruitment of non-athletes and an increase in international students. I hope this is being worked on. And could someone email me some actual numbers on the ratio??? :) My email address is eshipman@hotmail.com.
Otherwise, I believe that Methodist is awesome, and I believe that Dr. Hancock will walk the walk and take us to the next level. I believe that he is trying to correct these issues as we speak. This may sound like a tongue lashing, but I appreciate everything and I am for you.
For those that are still bitter about their MU experience, don't be. I'm praying for you. Make the BEST of your situation! I still struggle with bitterness about my experience, but the cross of Christ has helped me forgive those that scorned me.
In Him,
E. Remille Shipman
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Seminary, Part 4
I'm going to hold off on school for an indefinite period of time. I don't think that God's plan for my ministry requires me to enter the academic realm at this time.
I am 12,000 in debt as of this writing. I really don't want any more. I feel that college/seminary could be beneficial for some, but it could also be a vicious debt trap. I know a few people that are in seminary right now that are not sure of what they wish to accomplish. They are spinning their wheels and they are accumilating a ----load of debt. I can't do that. I already did that in undergrad.
Grace and peace,
Remille
I am 12,000 in debt as of this writing. I really don't want any more. I feel that college/seminary could be beneficial for some, but it could also be a vicious debt trap. I know a few people that are in seminary right now that are not sure of what they wish to accomplish. They are spinning their wheels and they are accumilating a ----load of debt. I can't do that. I already did that in undergrad.
Grace and peace,
Remille
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Seminary, Part 3
I finally reached some sort of clarity in my Christian life Tuesday night.
I was composing an email to one of my pastors when God changed my heart. For the past two months, I allowed myself to be preoccupied with the prospect (realistically slim nonetheless, but still a possibility) of attending DUKE UNIVERSITY'S DIVINITY SCHOOL! I believed that I would not have a chance in hell of getting in, but after an awesome visit in February, I continued on.
I went on to go through an application process that was very rigorous. It was, honestly, one of the hardest things I've ever done. I had to ask five persons to write me a letter of recommendation; that chore was a stretch because I would have to seek cooperation from Methodist University, and I hate to say that my college years weren't the most coherent years of my life academically. The essays that required me to write about my calling and theological issues were draining, but they also helped me to figure out what I am passionate about. I may have discussed this calling in previous parts of this blog series.
My original plan was to either be a second banana at a multiracial church or work in the non-profit industry. God laughed at that plan and put people in my life to remind me that the pastoral thing wouldn't suit my personality. There's a lot of denominational and social politics involved with the title of pastor, and I don't think I want that. I'm also concerned that I would be placed in a situation or pressured to make certain life decisions that my Asperger's consciousness would REALLY hate if I was a pastor.
Duke wasn't a good fit for me. I felt that the only reason for me to go there was to learn how to be a pastor, and I truly feel that I'm not conventional enough to be a pastor. I promise you that I would likely leave Duke in a severe amount of debt. And to be honest, I don't have the academic or social background to get in anyway. And I don't want to be specific and name names, but I felt like some of the relationships that I have worked hard to cultivate would have been jeopardized if I went there. For various reasons.
I don't think that seminary is for me. In fact, the only school that I intend to apply to is Wesley Theological Seminary, only because their curriculum has a M. Div with a concentration in Urban Ministry. I believe that's close enough to my calling.
It will be hard for me to even seriously consider leaving Durham. But if that's what it takes to get re-trained, that's what will happen. At least I'm looking at a bigger market.
I think I am seeking God's will in this, and I am overjoyed.
Regards,
ERS
I was composing an email to one of my pastors when God changed my heart. For the past two months, I allowed myself to be preoccupied with the prospect (realistically slim nonetheless, but still a possibility) of attending DUKE UNIVERSITY'S DIVINITY SCHOOL! I believed that I would not have a chance in hell of getting in, but after an awesome visit in February, I continued on.
I went on to go through an application process that was very rigorous. It was, honestly, one of the hardest things I've ever done. I had to ask five persons to write me a letter of recommendation; that chore was a stretch because I would have to seek cooperation from Methodist University, and I hate to say that my college years weren't the most coherent years of my life academically. The essays that required me to write about my calling and theological issues were draining, but they also helped me to figure out what I am passionate about. I may have discussed this calling in previous parts of this blog series.
My original plan was to either be a second banana at a multiracial church or work in the non-profit industry. God laughed at that plan and put people in my life to remind me that the pastoral thing wouldn't suit my personality. There's a lot of denominational and social politics involved with the title of pastor, and I don't think I want that. I'm also concerned that I would be placed in a situation or pressured to make certain life decisions that my Asperger's consciousness would REALLY hate if I was a pastor.
Duke wasn't a good fit for me. I felt that the only reason for me to go there was to learn how to be a pastor, and I truly feel that I'm not conventional enough to be a pastor. I promise you that I would likely leave Duke in a severe amount of debt. And to be honest, I don't have the academic or social background to get in anyway. And I don't want to be specific and name names, but I felt like some of the relationships that I have worked hard to cultivate would have been jeopardized if I went there. For various reasons.
I don't think that seminary is for me. In fact, the only school that I intend to apply to is Wesley Theological Seminary, only because their curriculum has a M. Div with a concentration in Urban Ministry. I believe that's close enough to my calling.
It will be hard for me to even seriously consider leaving Durham. But if that's what it takes to get re-trained, that's what will happen. At least I'm looking at a bigger market.
I think I am seeking God's will in this, and I am overjoyed.
Regards,
ERS
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Seminary, Part 2
I'm finished with my essays for seminary. I can't edit them any more thoroughly than I've already edited them.
Like I said in Part 1, the process of seminary has uncovered grave details about myself, my place in Durham, the Triangle, and the church, and what God would PROBABLY want me to do in my ministry. And a lot of what I've learned has jarred me.
I've discovered that my political and theological leanings steer me towards the mindset of what I call conservative envangelicalism. In layman's terms, I believe that the Bible should not be called into question, but at the same time, I stop short at calling myself a legalist or fundamentalist, because the stereotype of that title does not fit my personality.
God has also gently nudged my heart toward realizing that I have played a Jedi mind trick on myself for much of my adult life. I am a young African-American male that comes from a less-than-perfect family and academic infrastructure, and I've tried to fit in a culture here in Durham of people from more stable situations for years, to mixed success.
At the same time, I've never really fit in with African-American culture, and I confess that I find it unlikely that I will marry within my race, if I marry at all. Black women intimidate me more than women of any other race. I don't know why.
God created me in a very unique fashion. And I don't know if my personality or my experiences will mesh with the denominational politics of the world. I may not be a conventional minister. That's probably a good thing. There's too much of that out there.
I truly wish I knew what I'll be doing in the next few months. Will I remain with my church family for the long haul, or will I change cities or become involved with something that fits my vision of ministry even better?? I don't know. I HOPE not. Will I enroll in seminary or thrive in it? Will I have to get retrained vocationally to survive in this present broken world?? That's up in the air. How long will this season of singleness, healing, and discernment last before I advance to the next plateau in life? Hard to say.
It/s a wild ride.
Like I said in Part 1, the process of seminary has uncovered grave details about myself, my place in Durham, the Triangle, and the church, and what God would PROBABLY want me to do in my ministry. And a lot of what I've learned has jarred me.
I've discovered that my political and theological leanings steer me towards the mindset of what I call conservative envangelicalism. In layman's terms, I believe that the Bible should not be called into question, but at the same time, I stop short at calling myself a legalist or fundamentalist, because the stereotype of that title does not fit my personality.
God has also gently nudged my heart toward realizing that I have played a Jedi mind trick on myself for much of my adult life. I am a young African-American male that comes from a less-than-perfect family and academic infrastructure, and I've tried to fit in a culture here in Durham of people from more stable situations for years, to mixed success.
At the same time, I've never really fit in with African-American culture, and I confess that I find it unlikely that I will marry within my race, if I marry at all. Black women intimidate me more than women of any other race. I don't know why.
God created me in a very unique fashion. And I don't know if my personality or my experiences will mesh with the denominational politics of the world. I may not be a conventional minister. That's probably a good thing. There's too much of that out there.
I truly wish I knew what I'll be doing in the next few months. Will I remain with my church family for the long haul, or will I change cities or become involved with something that fits my vision of ministry even better?? I don't know. I HOPE not. Will I enroll in seminary or thrive in it? Will I have to get retrained vocationally to survive in this present broken world?? That's up in the air. How long will this season of singleness, healing, and discernment last before I advance to the next plateau in life? Hard to say.
It/s a wild ride.
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