asperger's syndrome and life, part 1: opening statement

Since I moved to the Triangle, I've had an increasing desire to dig deeper into the intricacies of Asperger's Syndrome.

This is the difference that I have. I'm not going to run away from that. I did when I was an unbeliever. I won't now. Take it or leave it. God made me this way.

And the fact that I have it has driven me recently to volunteer with the Autism Society and other groups. I want to help people. I want to give back in any way possible.

That being said, I also want to know and understand the symptoms and how it affects my life. And I admit that the things that I've found (although I'm a little unsure of the accuracy) have bothered me. For example, people with Asperger's syndrome struggle with:

-Problems engaging in small talk (I am hit or miss on this)
-Problems with depression and anger
-Lack of empathy
-Unable to see things from the other's point of view
-According to one site, having difficulty with entering relationships and marriages, and I've read that Aspies have a divorce rate of about 80 percent.

Glad I have God's favor.

I want to discuss some of these issues later, so stay tuned.

Mock College Football Playoff Bracketology, Some Weeks Late

If the Football Bowl Subdivision had a 16-team playoff, with all 11 conferences receiving automatic bids, and five other schools recieving at-large bids, and if the season ended today, with no title games) here's what we'd be looking at:

No. 1 Auburn (SEC auto bid)vs. No.16 Florida International (Sun Belt auto bid)
No. 8 Michigan St. (At-Large) vs. No. 9 Oklahoma (Big 12 auto bid)
No. 4 Stanford (At-Large) vs. No. 13 Northern Illinois (MAC auto bid)
No. 5 Wisconsin (At-Large) vs. No. 12 Virginia Tech (ACC auto bid)
No. 3 T.C.U. (Mountain West auto bid) vs. No. 14 Connecticut (Big East auto bid)
No. 6 Ohio State (At-Large) vs. No.11 Boise St. (WAC auto bid, if there is a three-way tie with Nevada and Hawaii, then i'd give the bid to Boise as a tiebreaker because of BCS ranking)
No. 2 Oregon (Pac-10 auto bid) vs. No. 15 U.C.F (Conference USA auto bid)
No. 7 Arkansas (At-Large) vs. No. 10 LSU (At-Large)

With this said, we do have title games coming, and some bubbles could be burst. That is all.

I love Sundays.

I love Sundays.

I wouldn't have said this a year and a half ago. I would use Sundays to sleep in and watch football, basketball, movies, Nintendo, whatever. Often I'd sleep in to rest up from a long night of shenanigans.

I still stay up late at night. But it's mandatory that I take my butt to Grace every single Sunday. It just has to happen. That's what Christianity does to you.

I also love the fellowship among Christians afterwards. This is the first solid Christian community that I've ever been around. I will confess that I did feel kind of out of the loop during the summer when I spent a lot of time in Fayetteville and Virginia and GNet wasn't active, but now I'm really plugged in.

And did I mention football on Sundays? It doesn't even matter that my Panthers are angling for the No. 1 draft choice. It's a male soap opera.

I still love Fridays and Saturdays. But add Sundays to my must-look-forward-to days.

Some Days Late...Parental Advisory Suggested....

On Veterans Day, I remembered the contribution made by my deceased grandfather, late great uncle, and two of my cousins. They all served our country.



And yes, I lived in Fayetteville, North Carolina for seven and a half years. Most of you know that Fayetteville is home to Fort Bragg, which is due to become the largest military base in America by next year due to its expansion. Veteran's Day is held in high regard in that town.



I spent that day wrestling with the notion that Veteran's Day could be a form of idolatry. I feel that might apply to Fayetteville more than, say, Raleigh, with it being a military sanctuary and all. We make a big deal about soldiers dying in war for our freedom...but didn't Jesus die for our souls????????????? I meditated on this Thursday.

I'm all for Veterans's Day, but why can't we have a Jesus Appreciation Day? Ain't that more important?? If you believe in Christ anyway, which I do, you would feel that God would protect us and our freedoms (or the freedoms that God enjoys anyway) from evil Islamic thugs.

I've struggled with bitterness towards Fayetteville because soldiers always get their - kissed there at the expense of the "townies" in many things. But bitterness is wrong and respect is required of me. We should say thanks to all of the difference makers in society for what they do.

We are all equals, no matter what Satan puts in our heads about us not being equals. I respect Veteran's Day, but I sometimes fall victim to seeing both sides of the coin here.

Idolatry and bitterness are evil. Good day.

Part 2 of my Homecoming Rant-Courtesy of Fayetteville Observer-

Old news, but click on the link below. The comments below are stellar.

http://www.fayobserver.com/articles/2010/10/29/1043919

Two comments stick out...We had "Hot Topic" claim that the shooting happened partly because Methodist admitted the undesirables who couldn't get in at any other school. I figure that he argues that if Methodist had smarter kids, they would be smart enough to not shoot each other. He argues that the administration wouldn't have to enact such policies if they had higher admission standards.

I hate to say it, but he's partially right....I think a lot of their policies are partially due to the administration knowing that they are not bringing in the brightest students(although this has slightly changed in the last few years), but the strict policies at MU were also inserted because of the fear of a student's death or damage to the school's reputation. The dry campus rule and such exists because of the latter reason.

Another poster claimed that Methodist will never rise above tier III status. I do agree that it's a third or fourth-tier school, simply because the only kids they can draw are golfers, athletes, and locals with (hopefully not racist) parents who won't let them go to Fayetteville State University. I do believe that there are people in Fayetteville who won't send a kid to FSU over the race issue. :(. The jury is still out on whether their status will improve in the future, however, due to the regime change that's on the way.

For Pete's sake, they had to invest heavy in a nursing program to get their female enrollment to 37 percent, in part because it was the last gimmick they could use to get more girls enrolled.

All this shooting crap and drama gives me the motivation to just distance myself from the university. And Fayetteville. It's not my scene.

Scrap the Homecoming Review...I have something else to talk about

Well..Homecoming was decent, I supposed. I got to see a small amount of people that I went to college with. And yes, they are all doing well in this horrid economy. I regret that more of the old folks didn't return though.

It's just that it was overshadowed by hogwash. First of all, an Alpha Delta Phi sister had a seizure during the football game (she's fine). Secondly, one of my friends got kicked out of Huske Hardware for "teetering" (when she had high heels on and wasn't drunk), which put a damper on our Saturday.

Then I had to wake up to news that three kids got capped at Izzy's (Methodist University's version of Shooters) and that two of them were in critical condition as of this writing. As a result, Methodist established an unprecedented Izzy's Off Limits policy, threatening expulsion if any student dares to enter within 200 feet of Izzy's. There goes profit for Andy's and Dino's.

Now I was a HUGE partier and carouser during my college days. I used to enjoy Last Call. And there's a minor chance that I would oppose this if it happened to a bar that myself and my friends frequented. But I don't have a big problem with this.

First of all, I graduated from Methodist three years ago. That enough should distance myself from this situation.

Second of all, it has been well known that Izzy's serves underage to minors. That's why everyone abandoned Last Call and invaded on the yuppies' playground.
In my previous life, I had no issue with this, but now I realize that it's bad business and it's immoral. I have been to Izzy's numerous times. There are no bodyguards, and it has a Wild West atmosphere to it. Drunk 19-year-olds make stupid decisions. And if they are going to try to kill each other over a rap battle, maybe a line should be drawn.

This is an unprecedented move, folks. Methodist is private institution and can write its own laws. I do believe that that Hendricks and Blanc don't want to put restrictions on the whereabouts of its students, but once the Izzy's thing got out of control, I figure they wanted the chance to put the cat back in the bag. The actions of some bums gave them a chance to end it, and they took advantage of the opportunity. And no, MU students aren't the only ones that have off-limits places. Fort Bragg puts it on their soldiers, and for good reason, because the places on that off-limits are full of sin. Don't blame the "n------" for this.It was bound to collapse, whether by Hendricks' hand or the ALE's.

Go to Last Call.

Well....

I'm on this set direction..to teach...but i still feel frustrated...I made the wrong choice in school and major and it still haunts me, I guess.

Homecoming Preview

I'm having a good time right now in Durham. I have a job, a place to lay my head, and a good group of friends (even though I don't see them enough).

Still, I'm looking forward to turning back the clock and returning to Methodist for Homecoming next Saturday. I'll be riding solo, mainly because most of my closest colleagues don't live in NC anymore and have moved on. :( I have too, but it's hard to NOT make the 90-minute drive.

It's a weird feeling. I understand that Methodist tends to forget about its most dedicated students and workers. And what am I going to tell all of the old MC folks? (BTW, I can't afford to "register" and I don't need the hotel to sleep in. Mom's place is sufficient.) I have to fight the urge to revel in the fact that I was supposed to be this hot shot reporter that went bust.

But I don't feel like a bust now. Nor shouldn't I. Sure, I may have to go to square one again to accomplish my goal. Going back to school and living in a dorm? (Ladies, get in line!) Not likely. But you'll hear the go back to school refrain from me plenty this weekend.

I'm curious about whether there will be any fallout from the growth issues and such. Also, I need my copy of smallTALK. I've been chomping at the bit to get one.

MU-minati. (A rant.)

I previously vowed that I wouldn't throw mud at Methodist University. But after hearing this rumour, I have to say something.

Apparently the MU Board of Trustees want to tear down the intramural field that the late Coach Sink labored to build for the students in order to build new Greek housing. This happens because you expanded so quickly that you had 70 triples when the year started and you need to put them somewhere. An administration with some foresight would place a cap on on-campus enrollment. Not take 700 new kids and over 400 returners when you only have room for 950.

It's greed. All greed. Mammon is the god of Methodist, not God. They want as many kids as possible every year, to line their pockets. They recruit like they are on the brink of extinction when they are actually doing quite well. They want your money no matter how much space they have or what's said to them to get them here. If they leave after one year, so what. They can be replaced.

I was actually excited about MU's future, with the new buildings, huge enrollment, and near halving of its ghastly guy girl ratio (from 7/1 to 4/1, or more realistically from 70/30 to just about 60/40). I was even going to send my brother there. Now I don't feel the same way.

MU, please. Stop being greedy, elitist, and short-sighted.
Do not destroy the intramural field.
If God is the driving force behind this university, repent and stop putting money first.

RE: Myron Pitts article 9/20/2010

To help you completely understand what I'm talking about here, here's the actual article at http://fayobserver.com/articles/2010/09/21/1032667.



But my response will begin with an admission...Yes, I am a committed Christian now, but I have frequented these "establishments" in the past, and I've seen enough to agree with the city council's decision on more than the moral issue. So I CERTAINLY DO NOT BELIEVE THAT "THEY" ARE GOOD FOR FAYETTEVILLE!



These clubs that populate Fayettenam operates for the primary purpose of ripping off the Fort Bragg soldier with the fantasy of lust. HELLO! She's married (most likely) and she's not coming home with you! Why do we want more exploitation joints of both women and soldiers in the town that I no longer call home???



And I pray for the people that work in these establishments. Some of the women that work in these clubs are young and misguided and need money. But most of them are addicts of some kind (drugs, alcohol) or don't seem to come from a solid family structure. They surely do not need another option to exploit themselves. I'd rather see another Wal-Mart being built so these girls can at least have a chance at a honest life.

It's another victory for good.

I'm Back!

I still don't have my own computer, but I have had a lot of free time recently and the Examiner thing didn't work out. I made the mistake of choosing a topic that I had NO interest in. So I'm hoping this will work for the forseeable future.

I admit that I have almost given up on finding a decent job. I thought it would be smoother sailing in the Triangle compared to Fayetteville, but it just hasn't been working out. I think that this is happening on purpose given my recent calling to chase the teaching profession. I still love Durham, and I have no intention of leaving the area. Even though I may have to leave to finish my certification elsewhere, I still plan on making the Triangle my permanent home.

In Him,
ERS

My List of Grievances,Demands, and Everything Else (Part 1)

Well, here we go...

Part 1: Sports
-I wish we had a MAJOR league pro baseball team in North Carolina. Preferably in Raleigh, but I know that won't happen. I still own the Playstation 2 copy of All Star Baseball 2005, and their most underrated mode is the Expansion franchise mode, in which you could choose your city and start a franchise from scratch.

-I wish athletic directors would stop firing college basketball coaches after only three seasons..or even less than three seasons (Gillespie, Billy at Kentucky.) Dino Gaudio proved that he was a career assistant at Wake Forest, but I think he should have been given one more season. College coaches in all sports should be able to have at least four recruiting classes to build their systems and programs. It's getting sickening. College athletic programs are being run as pro franchises nowadays. We wouldn't have Coach K around at Duke if he began his career in this current environment.

-I wish the NHL would fold the Atlanta Thrashers and the Phoenix Coyotes. Hockey could cut two franchises, but no more. I probably would have expanded the league back in 1997, but I would add two more franchises instead of four. I'm open to debate on this.

-The NBA should go back to the pre-1993 lottery system (google this) and stop rewarding the practice of "tanking" in order to get the top overall draft choice (it's John Wall this year, folks). Wasn't the lottery made to stop tanking anyway???

-It would also make sense (to me, at least) for the NBA to adopt either a hard cap or a system similar to the NFL's uncapped year, where the top teams are actually limited in free agency.

-I wish Methodist University would go D-II and actually attempt to field consistently successful men's basketball and football programs. They may never be competitive again in their current setup; with tuition going up, the chances of them stealing D-II caliber athletes or decent black athletes in general will decrease further and further. Look at basketball. They fielded a 3-23 team this past season, but they would have been .500 or better had Marcus Connor, Pee-Wee Thomas or Leland Jones could have afforded to go there this year.

If you're my friend, you already know this....

I'm headed to Durham in a matter of days, after spending about seven and a half years in Fayettenam.

Emotions are suprisingly bittersweet for me, but I know it's in God's plan, for several reasons.

I'm actually debating whether or not to keep this page up because I've spent more time on YouTube, but if I do, I'll be focusing more on opining on world events and sports....

God Bless.

old myspace blog, part 1

it's official. I'm committing MySpace suicide pretty soon. I wanted to move my blogs from the past onto this site, but it would be too lengthly ..and plus the old me is dead and gone...


if you still want to check my old stuff out, click on this link...

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=21268656http://

My life is really complicated right now...

Yeah...



This really isn't a gripe fest, people. I'm not the same person I was six months ago. It's just that it seems God is blessing me with lots of experiences and I really don't know how to interpret them.

First off....I went on an interview in Raleigh last Thursday for a possible position selling insurance (and possibly making BANK) with this Fortune 500 company. I won't divulge the name out of respect. They offered me a job...but I would have to pay around 300 dollars to take a couple of tests to become licensed. My parents didn't want me to take the job on the basis that that they didn't guarantee me a salary....so that's in limbo.

I'm still trying to transfer to a Wal-Mart story in Raleigh (they pay more, but it's a drive) or Durham, and I just made some progress on that, meaning I found a store that had an opening...Stay tuned on that...

I've also been kind of-or sort of-or close to talking to a couple of women in the past two months, but I don't know what to really do here, because both of these girls have baggage up the rear end..like 99 percent of the single women in this town. I really want to ask for God's will in all of my matters right now.

Random Thoughts: Things Don't Get Better Until After You Leave

Apologize for addressing this first, but...


Give it up for Methodist University, folks! The Monarchs could be on the verge of hiring a younger, visionary president to lead the school into the future. In addition, we were approved for a four-year nursing program without any recommendations! The school received over 100 admission apps. shortly after everything was confirmed.

Now I believe in my heart of hearts that the aggressive posture toward getting this program off the ground is a gimmick to draw more female students to the university.. but the HUGE need for nurses in our society and the failure of Fayetteville State's program creates a void that Methodist has decided to fill. This, along with the other new buildings being constructed, signifies an institution on the rise. I predict a ratio of 63 to 37 next year because of these developments, and I do hope that this works and this evens things out academically, socially and gender-wise. I pray that the University treats nursing like it does PGM, because there's money to be made here.

Also...

I haven't really been around a lot of people lately, but I knew that the Saints were going to be victorious in the Super Bowl because of God's will.

This transfer process at work could be harder than I thought. That said, I believe the 13th of February could be my last appearence at Izzy's, because of the move. I hope the associates I have left there can get in touch with me...

I don't know if the NFL will ever return to Los Angeles, in large part because of apathy from the money people down there. However, if Jacksonville fails, I'd rather have them go down there than London, England. Ick. L.A. had its chance when Houston beat them out for the 32nd team back in 1999.

I doubt Methodist University's revenue sports (football, basketball) will be hard pressed to field a consistent winner in the forseeable future. High tuition, rising standards=few black recruits. Among other reasons.

I was worried about Hulk Hogan and his thugs ruining TNA Wrestling in 2010, but now I'm feeling better now that I believe Vince Russo still has some power over the writing of the TV show. The man is a genius. I believe that TNA circa Sept.-December 2009 was honestly his best work.

All this conversation about Focus on The Family's controversial ad climaxed with Tim Tebow tackling his mother??

The Logic Junkie is yet another person I cooled off on since I found God. To me now he seems whiny and arrogant. Too bad he's not producing videos anymore.

Sharron Sypult will be missed at Methodist, and I was appalled to hear of her firing.

God Bless.

Changes....

Starting now, I'm going to try to lay low and stay away from beer until, at least, the weekend of the Super Bowl. This may even last permanently. I'm started to gain the college weight back and I need to feed the good dog so I can pull through this move (and everything else) smoothly...

Breaking News (or not so breaking news to some of you)

First of all, I'm really sorry about the negativity of my last post, I might even delete it, but oh well...

I have been away from this blog for the past week due to work and the Virginia trip, so I received this news a bit late.

But apparently Methodist University will have new leadership come July, as President Elton Hendricks recently announced that he step down after running things at my alma mater for over 25 years. When I first heard the news, I admitted to feeling a large jolt of excitement in my body. I felt that the university needed a change at the top because Hendricks, in my view, was out of touch to the needs of 21st century college students. I thought that was more concerned with operating a business than keeping its students happy.

But after I read the Fayetteville Observer article Monday, I felt guilty about bashing him all these years. The Observer did a great job of painting the picture of an educated, intelligent individual. I gained a lot of respect for Hendricks simply for realizing that it would take a younger man to take Methodist to newer heights. I originally thought that he would never come to that conclusion.

I believed that Methodist University needed Dr. Hendricks to upgrade from survival mode to prosperity. He deserves to be acknowledged for that very reason. And I'm confident that the new president will have many positives to work with.

Methodist still has issues to deal with. The economy is still choking the life out of America, which means that less and less students will be able to afford Methodist. We still have the moral issue of athletics-being egged on by the higher ups-willingly embracing the "take it in the front end, lose it in the back end" approach to recruiting. (even though it would help the school financially, it hurts retention and it is dishonest). We still struggle with recruiting women as the shadow of Fort Bragg and other issues makes the school unbalanced by gender standards. Alumni still aren't giving to MU in large amounts by my calculation. And did I mention retention???? These are the challenges that I can come up with.

But I think a new voice, preferably NOT tied to MU currently, can lead Methodist past these challenges and into a new stratosphere. Thank you, Dr. Hendricks, and I'm sorry for the negative Facebook comments.

D-Day.

I've decided to utilize Plan B and transfer to Durham in the very near future. God had been telling me repeatedly last week to rethink this VA move, and after I got some in depth info on the situation, I decided it would be insane to attempt this move on a Wal-Mart salary. VA/DC can wait at least six months, maybe a year.

By the way, my decision will allow me to pay very little, if any, rent, and I'll be in a pretty huge Raleigh market. :)

God bless you all.